“It takes two to three years to become a good coach.”
Margaret Moore (aka Coach Meg)
When I graduated from my masters program and passed the national board exam to become a NBC-HWC in 2019, I stumbled on this quote from the founder of Wellcoaches, Margaret Moore. I wrote it down on an index card and taped it above my desk as encouragement to stay the course and give myself space and grace to start yet another iteration of my professional journey.
More than five years later, and after LOTS of coaching, I can acknowledge my progress. Yet on many days, I feel the journey has just begun.
That’s the nature of coaching!
It’s no small feat to show up for people in their crazy, busy lives and attempt to be a helpful presence. It takes lots of practice and many interactions to begin to make the transition from theory into practice so there is collaboration, growth, and progress.
A fellow NBC-HWC friend and colleague shared with me the other day that after a short break from coaching over the summer, her initial sessions felt a bit “clunky” as she regained the flow of listening and responding in a helpful way.
Who else has had that experience? I know I have!
Yes, we have a deep toolbox of skills at our fingertips, but many times I’ve pulled out a hammer, when a screwdriver would have worked better. And while you need an expert when the sink gets clogged, in health coaching there is rarely a time (maybe never?) when the expert approach works.
Three times a year the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching announces the launch of another group of certified coaches. The current tally is more than 11,000 and counting. How exciting!
Following each announcement, I see a flood of social media posts sharing the good news and then asking the big question, “Now what do I do?” What are the opportunities out there? How do I get started?”
My advice (unsolicited, of course) is, “What are you waiting for? Lean in to coaching!”
The daily interactions we have with people are all opportunities to practice the person-centered skills that make us better coaches. Why wait for people to sign on the dotted line? Why sit in the bleachers and spectate until you identify and declare your unique niche and coaching lane?
It will emerge authentically as you coach more and more people, as will the strength and impact of your skillset. That was my experience.
My encouragement is to set an intention to move through your day asking people curious questions that spark engagement and then listen so they feel heard and understood. Look for qualities within them that could be crafted into powerful affirmations, and show up believing they have the capacity to live as their true and best self.
A recent conversation at the gym during my evening swim provides an example of opportunities I use to practice through the day:
Woman waiting for the aqua class to begin: You’re a good swimmer. I wish I could swim like that.
Me: Thank you. I have been swimming since I was young. I think that might be why. You like the water too. I see you taking the class regularly.
Woman: Yes, I’m not athletic like you, but I like the group and the music, and at least it’s something to keep me going.
Me: You love the energy of a group, and the water is such a great way to stay fit.
Woman: Yes, it’s the only thing I have found that doesn’t hurt when it should help! (laughs)
A simple, everyday conversation. Dissect the back and forth, and you see coaching skills woven in including curiosity, engagement, reflection, affirmation, and lots of change talk on the woman’s part. The science behind motivational interviewing tells us when people talk in positive ways about their lives, they are exploring, declaring, affirming, and reinforcing their own ideas, strengths, and efforts to themselves as they speak. It’s a recipe for positive change and one of the things we do as health coaches—help people craft more positive and actionable narratives about their lives.
“Lean in to Coaching” Prompt
Here is this week’s coaching nudge: An invitation to try this approach on for size if it resonates . . .
Find 5 people and strike up a conversation by asking a curious open question like, “What’s important to you right now?” or “What is important to you about your health and wellness right now.” “What kinds of things do you do to take care of yourself?” or an open question that feels authentic to you.
If they agree to chat . . . ready, set, coach! Then report back in the comments how things went. We’d love to hear your experience!
Growth and Learning
Super excited to have made my annual pilgrimage to the The Health and Wellbeing Coaching Conference early in June in San Diego, hosted by Dr. Jessica Matthews and her husband, Jay Petterson. This year, Jessica and Jay raised the bar with inspiring speakers across various disciplines in HWC, and a big “score” of two presentations by Dr. Bill Miller himself!
His keynote address, “Eight Ways of Hoping,” reminded me that hope IS a strategy and there is science to back it up. When we ask ourselves how we measure “results” in our coaching—we might simply reflect back on the session and think, “Did the coachee leave feeling hopeful?” If the answer is yes, it’s a good sign things are moving in the right direction.
Here is me with Dr. Miller and my freshly signed copy of his book, Motivational Interviewing, Fourth Edition. It was a memorable professional moment for sure.
Registration is opening soon for next year’s conference, June 6th - 8th. It would be great to see you there!
Self-Care
Speaking of the coaching conference . . . full transparency, I arrived to last year’s conference feeling pretty burned out. Fortunately, I was reminded by one of the amazing speakers, Anthony Masiello, Co-founder and CEO of Plant Based Telehealth, that you can’t neglect yourself and then expect to care for your business.
It launched a personal initiative to get back to some of the activities I enjoy outside of work and coaching such as cooking healthy meals for my family from a place of joy rather than duty. I have stayed true to that ever since and recently stumbled upon a Deborah Madison recipe for Cauliflower Soup with Coconut, Turmeric, and Lime. Sublime and loved by all members of my family.
Someday, I’ll have to share the story of shopping in a Mexican market and preparing a meal with the famed vegetarian chef and cookbook author in Cabo San Lucas!
What are your thoughts on self-care?
How do you practice taking care of yourself so that your wellbeing is as much a priority as those you serve? I’d love to start a conversation about this having survived a personal bout with burnout. It really did become about radical self-care.
Onward!
Well friends, I’m hoping this inaugural post, newsletter, or whatever it turns into, is a step towards my intended goal of creating community and connection around a shared passion for our coaching skillset.
Click the subscribe button and let’s see how we can support each other to Lean into Coaching to build thriving, impactful coaching practices that elevate both our professional field as well as our personal business success.
Introduce yourself in the comments and tell me which coaching skill in your toolbox excites you the most!
And if you’d like to follow on Instagram as well, I’m there @leanintocoaching. I’d love to connect and follow you back.
Be well,
Meg
Thanks for the reminder that first of all we are human and we too grow in a spiral and recognize when we need to let it flow once again by connecting and active listening Ing to others.
I am excited to be a part of this group and conversation and for taking us back to where many of us have met (The great San Diego Health and Wellbeing conference).
So many things we have learned, so many mistakes that we’ve made that have taken us to the road to growth and having people like you to remind us it’s not as difficult as it may seem …just connect to your true self and see, really see others as you walk with them along their own journey.
Thank you for being part of mine! Warm hugs,
Meg I love to see a greater focus on community building in the health coaching space!
I have a skill recommendation that I'd love to see you talk about in the future. As a coach mentor and educator one thing I've found challenging for many coaches, especially novices, is silence. In the Western world and in English, silence in conversation is not an integral part of our discourse and many try to avoid it. How can we practice sitting in silence as a coaching skill, even when we aren't in a coaching session?